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Disconnections that occur when what might be an acute disconnection triggers someone (often suffering from posttraumatic stress disorder) into a place of reactivity (the amygdala hijack) where she or he becomes unavailable to relational repair. The person cannot come back into connection because of a heightened sense of danger. Until safety can be [..]

Pathological shame arises when one feels that one is no longer worthy of empathy or love. It shares many of the characteristics of condemned isolation. One feels excluded, unworthy, and beyond empathic possibility and that one cannot bring oneself more fully into relationship.

Relationships are always in movement, toward either better connection or increasing disconnection; with an ongoing flow of mutual empathy, the participants move toward more connection.

Movement to a mutually empowering, growth-fostering connection in the face of adverse conditions, traumatic experiences, and alienating sociocultural pressures; the ability to connect, reconnect, and/or resist disconnection. Movement toward empathic mutuality is at the core of relational resilience (Jordan, 1992).

Inner pictures of what has happened to us in relationships, formed in important early relationships. As we develop these images, we are also creating a set of beliefs about why relationships are the way they are. Relational images thus determine expectations not only about what will occur in relationships but about a person's whole sense of he [..]

Shared sense of effectiveness, ability to act on the relationship, and moving toward connection. The relationship itself is strengthened and expanded in the movement of mutual empathy. Both (all) people in the interaction feel stronger, more alive, more able to create, and desirous of bringing this feeling of empowerment to others. This also contri [..]

Having confidence in a relationship and in the ability to contribute to growth-fostering relationships, as well as trust that others will join in creating such relationships.

Bringing attention to the other person, one's own responsiveness, the relationship, and the cultural context; being present with the energy and full movement of the relationship; feeling curiosity about the flow of the connection; letting go of images of how the interaction should be in order to discover what is; and awareness of one's ow [..]

Being attentive to one's own experience, the other person, and the relationship and developing clarity about the movement of relationship.